In any relationship there is a level of trust. But as I sit here I wonder what trust means to other people and also what trust means to mean.
To start with I ask myself who do I trust? My family, a few close friends, people that I may hire to do a job for me. But each of these people I have given a different level of trust to.
Some people like family (with few exceptions) I would trust and do trust completely. They are my inner ring reserved for those who are my closest people. The ones who hold my secrets.
Then a few select friends who have earned my trust, this level isn’t as full as the inner ring but these people have earned this level, and I would do anything for them, I may not share the family secrets but they may know where some of the bodies are buried, some of them may even have helped. (Cinnamon Hacksaw this means you)
And then another level of trust being those friends who I know and trust enough at certain things but they wouldn’t be my first call to watch my kids or care for my dog. They have proven themselves but I may still be cautious.
The last level of my trust would be those individuals that I have hired to do a specific job for me. I wouldn’t trust them to be at my home without me, nor would I trust them to do anything outside of that job but I trust their expertise in that area. This is a short lived trust. And if they fail to fulfill their job I wont trust them again.
And then everyone else who may be hoping to be even on that outermost level. But my trust is not easily given, and it may be easier to get a papal blessing than for me to trust you.
So this leads me back to my original thought, what does trust mean? Is trust something that allows a person to speak for you? Or is trust a feeling of honesty? Is trust going to be something that will hurt you later?
Are there words that a person says or doesn’t say that will increase or decrease your level of trust? How do you allow trust to be built? All these questions roll through my head and I try to think of those I trust, those I may not trust as much as those I do not trust at all.
Each person that I think of I could answer these questions differently. And each person I could answer these questions almost the same.
My gut instinct is to not trust people but as I build boundaries and not allow people to continue to dictate my life I am finding more ways to build trust and if they do not like the way I do things, then that’s really all I need to know and they will not ever get past the outer level.
I can’t tell you to trust me but know that I won’t rush you into accepting me, I would love to be friends and be able to build that level with you.
Be strong, be beautiful, be you